


E is for Eluvian

by moodymarshmallow



Series: Theron Mahariel, A to Z [Canon] [5]
Category: Dragon Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 07:05:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moodymarshmallow/pseuds/moodymarshmallow





	E is for Eluvian

I wish we’d never found that mirror. Nothing, not even that girl, haunts me the way that the Eluvain does. I have these dreams, not just the Warden dreams, and not the dreams of tight, confined spaces that I’ve always had. No. These ones all Tamlen—beautiful, foolish, beloved Tamlen—and he’s out of my reach by seconds. For months after becoming a Warden, I had these dreams nightly. Closing my eyes and seeing the Archdemon was a relief. 

I have relived that moment so many times. I have repeated my words and changed them. Perhaps, I could have been more forceful. Perhaps, I could have begged that we go back to Marethari before believing some shems’ stories about a ruin. Perhaps, I could have learned to be something other than foolish, in love, and eager to follow.   
  
How could we have been so blind?   
  
What kind of mirror doesn’t reflect?   
  
I went back there after the Blight was over. I took the long way, to avoid Tamlen’s grave, and stuck to the outskirts of the forest to hide from the little glimpses of the Beyond through the trees. Zevran stayed in Denerim, so I went alone, down all too familiar steps, walking into a dream. The corpses were still there, the darkspawn and the dead, covered in dust and years. The cobwebs still clung to every corner like a jealous lover, and I found my arrows lying around the place like discarded kindling. I left them there.   
  
It was good that it was gone, and I somewhat pleased to feel shock instead of vicious familiarity. There was this circle of tool marks on the stone, like someone had pried it up. I couldn’t remember what it looked like when it wasn’t a dream, not clearly.   
  
This too has changed, and somehow that is a relief.


End file.
